Let Them Bleed, Let Them Wash Away; A Tyler Open Post

[lockwood]

[ooc: Basically, this is free range for people to set up scenes with Tyler. Can be canon, crossover, whatever. There will probably be spoilery things bc I am not dealing well with the events of the last episode, this is the warning for that. Also feel free to comment oocly with an idea, and I can set something up too.]

Comments

[misfitted]

Jeremy knows what it's like to not trust himself now. How many times has he held a stake up to his sister, stabbed her in the neck, fought off the urges to kill her, kill any vampire? So he doesn't think anything of it, he just lets his hand fall, looking ahead as he takes a drink from a fresh beer.

He'll give him the space he needs to deal with it. Tyler's been dealing with it for much, much longer than Jeremy has.

He breathes in at what Tyler says, and he shakes his head, looking over at him. "You... just found all- all those people, your friends, who were killed, Tyler. You couldn't have known what he was doing while you were... just trying to process that shit," Jeremy says, but he knows the guilt will remain there anyway. They have no control over any of this shit so why wouldn't it- why wouldn't they cling to guilt because at least then it would feel like they did, it would feel like there was something.

Even when there wasn't anything at all.

"...even if you had gotten there when you wanted to..." Tyler would have run into Klaus, and they'd both be dead, mother and son.

Klaus doesn't really let people escape the lessons he gives. One way or another, it's Klaus that has all this power, and they're looking for a way to stop.... that. No, they're not. They're looking for a cure. He wants to get that cure for his sister, but he really doesn't know... how he's gonna do it.

[lockwood]

Tyler doesn't remember being able to trust himself, not really. Even before the sire bond bullshit he's always had that werewolf rage. That need to destroy. It used to rule him. He hurt so many people because he just couldn't stop. He sometimes thinks he'll end up like that again. Sometimes he doesn't' care if he does. He doesn't ever tell anyone that part.

"I know," He breaths at Jeremy's words, and it stings in his chest. He's not sure that guilt will ever go away. That pang he felt every time he passed the taped off fountain. The way he stopped going outside and just stayed in that empty house, drinking alone because it was better than feeling any of this. His mother's dead. And it's on him. That's what he knows. "But none of them would be dead if I hadn't -- but I had to. I couldn't just let him destroy their lives like he did mine. They thought I was their leader, they just wanted freedom."

And now they were dead. Klaus trumps all. He always wins. Tyler doesn't care about the cure (except for the fact that he'd like to see Elena free of her sire bond, because no one deserves that). He's just here because Jeremy deserves that same freedom the hybrids did.

No one else seems to care about that.

[misfitted]

Jeremy can't remember what that would be like. He really can't. He has been flung into this feeling of not being able to trust himself lately, and it's terrible especially when it comes to giving him the urges, making him hurt people that he loves. His sister.

He shakes his head, and he doesn't know what's better for Tyler to feel the guilt or for him to feel like it's pointless. It's something Jeremy has been struggling with for a long time. If only he'd been stronger, if only he'd had more power, he could have saved Vicki, Anna, Jenna, his sister, someone but everything he has ever done to try to save them was never enough. The only time he ever did save someone he had a crossbow in his hands, he had the meat cleaver and blood on his face and hands.

That was what hunting was supposed to be for him. It was supposed to be power and choice finally, some say in what was going on in the world around him. It's why he got so excited about the new powers he could feel, and then- then it ended up being like... this.

Now Tyler helped so many people break free of something that turned them into people who had to fall orders of a ruthless vampire who would use them and force them to do terrible things. He helped them break free at it at great pain and cost to themselves and to Tyler and- and he's left thinking that it was his fault they died. It's just- it doesn't seem right when Tyler did more for them than Jeremy's ever been able to do for anyone. And not by being something supernatural (not only that), he did it by being himself, by talking to them, by pushing them, by encouraging them when they were afraid and needed it.

"You gave them that at least even if it didn't last very long. They could make their own choices. They didn't have to feel grateful for being enslaved," Jeremy says quietly, and he looks over at him slowly, because it still hurts. It's always going to hurt. "They were meaningless to him. You remember how easily he sent in that hybrid to die when Connor took over the Grill. He would have done that to all of them eventually, made them kill people, do things they shouldn't have to do, and that-"

Knowing now what it feels like to kill without having any choice in it, knowing what it feels like to hurt the people he loves without hesitation because something inside of him is telling him to do it even though he doesn't want to-

He'd rather be dead than to have no other option.

Jeremy can't speak for everyone of those that died, and he won't, and maybe having died so much, having lost so many people makes him think dying's not the worst thing, but... What Tyler did for them was amazing. "I know you're always gonna feel guilty for it, but you gave them something really important... that I don't think anyone else could have done for them."

[lockwood]

The guilt is new, or at least guilt like this is. He never felt that bad his father was dead (okay, so maybe he feels guilty about that) and there's no way he could have saved Mason. He's felt guilty about Jules though. She died in the sacrifice instead of him. While her intentions weren't always great she had tried to help him. And then she died in his place. At Klaus' hands.

It always comes back to Klaus, doesn't it?

But this. This was because of his actions. He tried to do something good, something right for once in his fucking life (he used to only care about himself, now he'd die to just get all those other lives back) and it just blew up in his face.

Tyler tightens when Jeremy mentions Chris. He can't help it. It was one of the first times he realized how his priorities didn't matter to the rest of the Mystic Falls supernatural bunch. Even Caroline hadn't stopped to think about it being his friend she was trading a date for. Jeremy himself had been the one to chop his friend's head off.

He remembers Klaus' words that day. Your existence is to serve me, to please me. No one deserves that. Chris deserved better. So did Kim and all the others. And maybe Jeremy's right, he got them that freedom, if nothing else. But it doesn't feel like enough.

"They just wanted to leave, not take on Klaus." That had been his idea. If they took on Klaus, if they stuffed into the ground in concrete then everyone could be free with no risk or consequence. It had seemed like such a good idea, at the time.

He takes another long swig of beer at Jeremy's words, nodding a little. "I just did what's right. No one should be forced to kill, be forced to do anything. Sire bond, hunter's mark, compulsion, it's all the same bullshit."

And they all deserve better than that. They deserve choices.

[misfitted]

Jeremy swallows at the response before he shakes his head again. "Leave and have to run forever? It's not much of a life, and you had a full proof plan." Until he was betrayed, and it's not Tyler's fault even if he knows he'll always feel that way, think that way.

He knows, because he'd feel the same way.

He has felt the same way about things other people would say aren't his fault, were out of his control, but he needs that blame to a certain extent to hold on to some false sense of control.

Jeremy stares down at his drink, thinking of Chris, thinking of Stefan in that cave with that freshly turned murderer, thinking of how it felt nearly killing his sister, how he completely blacked out to something else.

"No, no one should," he says quietly, staring out at the water though he half wonders if they'll ever get choices. They break those bonds, and people still end up dying around them one after the other.

It scares him what grows across his skin, what it carries, what it means, what it feels like because he doesn't always know if what he's feeling is his own, but...

"Still. Thanks for doing what's right. Not many people can do that lately either."

And he's including himself within that group.

For the choices he's made, for Chris.

[lockwood]

"Yeah. Too bad i trusted the wrong person." Why did he trust Hayley to get a witch? Why didn't he talk to Bonnie? Tyler's asked himself all these questions about a million different times and he can't find any answers to them. No matter what, it'll always feel like he could have done more. That he should have. He could of prevented this somehow.

He had been their chosen leader. Their alpha. For all that meant.

They grow silent, and though the other boy doesn't say anything, Tyler imagines he has to be thinking about his own situation.

"We'll figure something out. If there's a way to break sire bonds, there's a way for you to learn to control the mark or whatever."

Tyler has to believe that. Has to believe somewhere, there's still control for Jeremy. He knows how it feels to have that ripped away. To not even know what actions are yours anymore. How do you own something like that? There has to be a solution, an answer, something.

At the gratitude, Tyler shrugs a little. "I couldn't imagine not doing it."

No one really helped him when he was sired. Jeremy gave him the benefit of the doubt, which is more than can be said about anyone else really but ultimately, Tyler had been alone with the sire bond.

He doesn't want anyone else going through that.

[misfitted]

"Hey, we've... all done that," Jeremy says quietly like literally all of them have put their trust into someone that would betray them in the end. It's a wonder they're able to trust anything or anyone at all.

He takes another drink, and he nods at what Tyler says, grimacing slightly.

"Yeah, I- I hope so."

He'd give anything, sacrifice anything if it meant he didn't have to harm Elena anymore. Even legit feelings he is entitled to have /narrative tableflip.

He shakes his head with a slight smirk. "You know, you could just say you're welcome." But he's kidding.

But seriously, there's no need to downplay it or to downplay what this means to Jeremy too. Cause it means yeah. It means freedom... hopefully. It means someone giving a shit about him, and he's really aware that most people are here for his sister first.

And he gets that. She's Elena, and he's Jeremy but.

"It's... cool that you came up here or whatever." Even if he knows Tyler was really happy to get away. It does... mean a lot to Jeremy too and that's his best way of being... able to express it.

[lockwood]

"You'd think we'd learn." But to do that would mean never trusting anyone at this point -- and where would that leave any of them?

"There has to be something." Tyler has to believe that. Cling to the idea that people can be free in some real way in this world. Maybe it's foolish -- it probably is -- but he still has to believe it.

Tyler smirks a little. "But where would be the fun in that?" There's a beat and then. "You're welcome, though."

Jeremy deserves someone who's concerned about him. Not that Elena doesn't matter but it's kind of shitty of everyone to put Jeremy's well being and sense of self in the back seat just to save her. All sorts of fucked up.

"Well, it's cool that you let me"

Which is as close as Tyler is going to get to admitting he's glad Jeremy invited him.

[misfitted]

"Yeah." They don't ever learn, but there's really no other choice. Trust is a requirement. "But maybe learning would mean we really were doomed and maybe we're not ready to accept that yet."

Whether or not it's true.

Jeremy nods at what he says, hoping there is something. He doesn't know if it is foolish or not, but he needs to believe it.

He smirks a little more, shaking his head like he doesn't know where the fun would be in that so he doesn't have a good answer. But he meant the thank you so it's just good that Tyler knows.

There's gratefulness there.

He glances over at Tyler at what he says, nodding quietly in response. Jeremy takes a long drink from the beer in hand as it's almost gone, but there are more where that came from. They'll drink until it's all gone and then they'll turn in for the night and tomorrow, they'll try again like they always do.

No matter how much they lose.