"He works in ways we can't understand now." That's what she's always been told, and she's believed it, too. It's incredibly hard not to respond with it isn't His fault but mine, though; her instinctive reaction is still to blame herself and her failure to carry the baby long enough for his lungs to grow. Her voice drops low, admitting something that hurts to say. "But that was easier to believe a few days ago."