gorysortofstory | OPEN SHIP WITH ME POST

"I know. I don't expect them to."

In some ways she's glad they don't -- though she can't understand at times how Sokka doesn't. That he didn't want revenge the way she did -- it was his mother too. Why didn't it burn him up inside the way it did her? It didn't make sense to her. (She remembers hissing those words at him, about how he didn't love her enough -- she's not sure that's true but in the moment she had meant it).

Of course, Sokka also wasn't the reason she died. Their mother died protecting her. The last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. She died to save her. That sort of thing -- it stays with you. Katara couldn't kill the man who did it but she couldn't forgive him either. She tries to be the bigger person so much of the time, the one who holds everyone together -- but even she has her weaknesses.

She's glad it's Zuko who came to find her. If it were Aang he'd probably start lecturing her on what the monks taught him about forgiveness again. Sokka would try to cheer her up, but Zuko just let's her be, which is surprisingly nice.

It's not that Katara minds being the mother of the group -- she loves her friends dearly and steps into the role willingly -- but sometimes it's nice not to half to be. So when his arms wrap around her in response her own grip tightens just a little.

She surprises him by saying that, having assumed that she'd be frustrated by their lack of understanding. Down by the docks after they returned from their mission, she seemed so... disappointed by Aang's continued insistence that she exercise forgiveness and behave in a way that was proper for Air Nomad monks, but not necessarily so for a girl who was raised by the Southern Water Tribe. Maybe even a little infuriated, too.

It was something Zuko was noticing more and more with Aang; he seemed to expect people to act in accordance with the ways of his people. Which wasn't necessarily fine for someone who was just an airbender, though more understandable, but something that was incredibly problematic when it came to an airbender being the Avatar. He couldn't expect people to forgive or everyone to want peace and harmony. He can't refuse to carry out his duties as the Avatar just because his people don't think it's right. He doesn't have that luxury. It's a little unfair, but it can't really be helped.

The world's already suffered once thanks to Aang's refusal to properly take up his mantle. They've been suffering for a hundred years. It's time to stop the suffering, not prolong it.

And while it honestly worries him, Zuko doesn't share his concerns with her, unsure of his footing with Katara when it comes to Aang. He doesn't tell her that he thought she'd want them to understand, either.

Instead, he moves his arms into a more comfortable grip and asks, "Why aren't you bending the rain away?"

Her robes are soaked. She must be cold. He'd be cold, too, if he weren't a firebender. He could manipulate his inner chi with his bending to radiate internal heat, but benders of other elements didn't have that luxury.

Or maybe she could do something with the cold that he wasn't aware of. Like what she did with that soldier's blood.

She is disappointed, still, in some ways -- but not surprised anymore. Aang lives by the ways of the his people -- which is great for him but it's not how she lives. It's not how the world works. Some things -- some things aren't worth forgiving, not if the person isn't sorry, not if they don't want to change. Aang will never get that. And Sokka -- he just soldiers on, doesn't see a reason to hold onto the past the way she does.

She almost envies him for that.

"It wasn't bothering me." Comes the simply reply. The beat of the water almost feels soothing in it's own way. And considering she can manipulate water to heal things it's easy enough to keep it from getting her too cold. Eventually she'll need to change clothes and get dry but she isn't particularly concerned about it in the moment.

At least with the way it's pouring it makes it unlikely that any of the others will come out after them.

She finally pulls away from the embrace, as if a little embarrassed of herself. She spends so much time trying to take care of everyone else -- she always feels awkward when she's the one who needs to be helped or taken care of.

"You didn't have to come after me."

"I didn't, but I wanted to."

Honesty's never been something he's been terribly good at. Not because lying's an art he's perfected over time so much as he's actually an incredibly guarded person. He spoke up and said what was on his mind once, shared what he really thought, and it nearly cost him his half his eyesight and hearing. His sight in that eyes still wasn't what it ought to be, but he's gotten used to it by now. He's honestly lucky he made it out of having a fistful of flames pressed to his face with just an ugly scar and mangled ear to show for it.

Not that any of them know that. Zuko's made a point not to make his joining of their group about what his father did to him as a child or his blood ties to Avatar Roku. This war isn't about him, and he doesn't need, nor want, their pity. He's done feeling sad and ashamed for having the gall to stand up to a tyrant, to say no to someone who made people cower in fear until they said yes. If anything, his scar is a mark of courage these days, even if he's the only one who knows it.

Whether they believed he was burnt by his own fire, a childhood accident, or a firebending mishap with someone else while in the midst of learning how to bend didn't matter. It wouldn't change anything; the past or what needed to be done.

But honest is something he knows he needs to be with Katara. He lied to her once (not that his "lie" had been an actual lie, so much as his choices after delivering those truths being some of the worst decisions he's made in his life, all because he wanted to gain the favor of a man who thought burning a child's face was an appropriate punishment), and he was determined not to do it again. Not after he'd finally earned back her trust.

"You go after everyone else. Someone has to go after you."

Honesty is something Katara appreciates -- something she holds in the highest esteem. She doesn't like being lied to or manipulated. She's still never forgiven Jet for how he misled her -- but the difference with Zuko is he's learned. While he may not have meant to lie to her at the time, it had felt like it to her. And he's tried to make it up to her since then, and he doesn't lie now.

It doesn't go unnoticed.

There had been a time when she had offered to heal that scar from him -- she no longer has the spirit water to do it but even if she did she has a feeling he would turn the offer down. It seems to be something of a badge of honor these days -- she's still never had the courage to ask how he got it.

She's pretty sure she won't like that answer.

"I don't expect them to."

Go after her, that is. Katara doesn't mind taking care of everyone -- she enjoys it even. After her mother died she stepped into the role with ease. Sokka may be the older sibling but she's the caretaker -- it's simply how things worked out.

It's nice though, someone coming after her for once. Whether she expected it or not.

"Just because you didn't expect them to doesn't mean they shouldn't have."

The fact that they didn't when they ought to know him better than her shines as an even more prominent sign of how much the fate of the world really is resting on the shoulders of a bunch of kids. Not bending masters, an eccentric strategist, a Kyoshi Warrior, and the Avatar, but kids. Kids whose emotional maturity hasn't quite caught up with their ability to bend. Just because you can out-bend those older than you doesn't mean you're sitting on the same emotional pillar as they are.

Zuko certainly felt as if he were a sitting a few steps up from them. At seventeen, nearly eighteen, he was the oldest member of their ragtag group. Sometimes his short fuse and fiery temper made that hard to see, but following Katara out here to see if she was okay said otherwise. As did standing back and letting Katara make her own decision about what to do with the leader of the Southern Raiders.

He might've agreed with Aang about not killing the guy, but that wasn't his decision to make. What he would do wasn't necessarily what Katara would do, and he wasn't about to make that assumption. He knew better. His country's been making that assumption for others for over a century.

Thunder rolls in the clouds above them, stifling what light had managed to seep through them before, drenching them in both rain and shadows.

Zuko holds one hand over the other, shielding the flame he bends into his palm to give them some light from the water that threatens to snuff it out.

"No, it doesn't, but they have enough on their mind."

Ultimately, Katara would rather people didn't worry about her. It's the caretaker in her, while it's nice to have someone come after her for once she wouldn't of known what to do with it if more of them had. It's easier this way. If they don't see her moments of weakness it's almost like they don't exist.

Aang has enough to worry about with being the Avatar. Sokka is her big brother but she's usually the one taking care of him instead of the other way around. And she and Toph have trouble getting along most days, let along reaching out to one another.

Zuko is different than the rest of them though -- maybe because he is the oldest. He's able to see outside of his own situation in a way the rest of them can't really. He sees the big picture, even the things they didn't want to face.

(If Aang doesn't want to kill anyone how does he expect to defeat the Fire Lord? It's a difficult question but a vital one)

A small smile tugs at her lips at the small fire he produces, granting them some light other than the lightening from the storm. For someone she had once written off as a liar and selfish -- he's surprising thoughtful sometimes.

"Thank you."

Aang doesn't seem to get it, but he supposes that this is why Avatars usually do the great things they're supposed to accomplish in their lifetimes when they've reached a certain mature age and have had time to really hone their bending. Thanks to having been on ice for a good century, Aang hasn't had that luxury. Then again, if Aang hadn't taken off in the first place and wound up frozen, he would've had that time and been able to take on his grandfather and stop this war during Azulon's reign instead of Ozai's. He could've prevented the genocide of the Air Nomads, but Zuko wasn't about to bring that up to the young Avatar. It was very likely that Aang already realized that was — at least in part — his fault.

"It's no trouble." Even if keeping a flame alight in the rain while also bending internally to keep his chi warm enough to ensure he didn't get sick from standing out here with her was requiring a lot of concentration, even if he didn't show it. "We should probably get out of the rain."

Though he has the feeling she wasn't too keen on returning the group right now.

"You're right. We can't afford to get ill."

There's too many important things to be done to be that careless or selfish, Katara realizes that. While she gets that Aang doesn't want to overly stress before the battle she worries sometimes if he just isn't taking things as seriously as he should. Despite being alive for over a hundred years it is often very obvious how much younger he is to everyone else.

He's very much still a child. Which is probably part of the problem.

It was very much a part of the problem, but not something they should be contemplating in the rain.

He wouldn't be able to give them light by doing so, but he snuffed out his own flame to grab hold of her hand anyway. The tug on her arm is gentle in comparison to his rough around the edges exterior, his touch soft where his words and mannerisms are usually clipped, sharp, and stiff. His grip is slack enough with the water rolling down his arm that she could very easily slip her hand from his grasp if she wanted to, but he'll be leading her in the direction of a shallow cave made of boulders that have fallen in towards one another. It'll get them out of the rain without forcing them to return to camp.

"You could make it better if we did, though, right?"

The gentleness of his touch surprises her, somehow. It's not what she would of expected from him -- but she's been learning more and more than what she'd expect from him wasn't necessarily fair to him. She doesn't pull her hand from his, though she easily could, allowing it to remain loosely wrapped around his as he tugs her into a nearby cave. It's not much but it'll give them shelter without forcing them to go back to the others just yet.

At his words she smiles, nodding. "I think so. I've healed injuries more than illness but I think the same principles would apply."

He debates, for a moment, telling her that what she did — how she managed to save Aang (using the spirit water she'd offered to heal his scar with, he assumes) — was amazing. Azula took him down, and even Zuko had been convinced for a while that the Avatar might not have survived. But even then, when he was living back at the palace and welcomed home as an heir to the throne, he had faith in Katara's ability to heal.

Of course she would've saved the Avatar, of course Aang would be alive. But he didn't tell Azula that. He withheld Katara's talents from her and his father.

"It's, uh, kind of a tight squeeze."

Zuko sits down anyway, scooting as close as he can to the cave wall he's nearest to in attempt to give her some more room. As if she'd have qualms with bumping knees and hips with someone she'd hugged and just held hands with on the way here. He tries not to read too much into that.

"Somehow, I think we'll manage."

They had just been hugging and holding hands so what'a a tight fit going to do? She doesn't try to give it too much thought, really. Instead she sits down next to him against the wall. It's close enough that her knees bump against his but what can you do?

Like she said, they'll manage. It's not that bad, really. Not as uncomfortable as it probably should be but she tries not to think about that much.

Zuko shifts so he's facing her and his back is to the rain (because somehow, it makes sense in his head to be a gentleman and shield the waterbender from the water falling from the sky). Both of his knees bump against her leg, and he's close when he holds his hands out, cupping them around the flame he bends to give them light.

"There. That's better."

Edited 2014-11-12 04:32 (UTC)

She actually laughs a little as he tries to block her from the rain. She can't help it -- a firebender trying to protect a waterbender from the rain is pretty funny, all things considered.

The little cave lights up nicely thanks to his flames.

"Hopefully, it won't keep up too long."

Because eventually the others might realize they're missing and come looking for them.

It's the thought that counts, though, right? Zuko's trying to be a gentleman here, even if his awkwardness tends to hamper any of his attempts. At least he's not tripping over himself and digging a hole for himself that he never intended to dig. He's getting better at that, though it helps that Katara no longer hates him and he no longer feels like he needs to keep his guard up around her.

He's not sure whether he feels more comfortable with his guard up or down around her, though. What's up with that?

"Your brother might come looking for us after while."

And he was against that idea. For some reason, Sokka finding him sitting in a small cave with his sister wasn't something he wanted to deal with.

It is the thought that counts -- even if the thought might be a little strange, like protecting a waterbender from the rain. She could direct it away from them, if she really needed to.

"You act like Aang wouldn't tag along with him for the search."

Which bothers her as well. She can more than take care of herself -- and they'd be more concerned about her being off with Zuko than if she was simply off by herself. It's not like anyone else seemed to even realize she had wandered off because she was upset.

He would, and that bothers Zuko more than the thought of Sokka coming after her. Aang hadn't been happy when Zuko whisked Katara off on a quest to find her mother's killer, and he had a strange sort of inkling that it wasn't just because he was against the idea of Katara extracting revenge when it went against his people's customs. There was something else, something that had the airbender not wanting Katara to go, because it would mean days of keeping company that was just him.

"Yeah," he deflates, expression souring unhappily. "He probably would."

It's hard to ignore the fact that Aang has feelings for her -- a crush that she thought would have gone away by now. But still, it bothered her how it made him act. She took has an inkling that his concern was over more than just wanting revenge, though she never dared to say that out loud.

"And then Toph would come simply so she wasn't left alone," She offers, trying to lighten the suddenly more sour mood. "It'll be a regular search party."

But what nobody expected, including the firebender himself, was for Zuko of all people to develop feelings for her as well. Like Aang, Zuko was his own brand of obvious. If it had been Toph or Sokka who insisted on holding a grudge against him, he would've played niced well enough for civility's sake, but left it alone. Changing someone's opinion, especially their opinion of you, took effort — and Zuko went above and beyond to prove that he was sorry and that she'd been right about him in Ba Sing Se, that he had changed and there was no reason to keep hating him.

"They'd have to notice we were gone first," Zuko counters, settling back against the cave wall at her right now that the winds have changed the rain's direction. It's a tight squeeze and it has Zuko's shoulder and hip pressing against hers. "They probably think you've got some weird waterbender thing going on with the rain and I just enjoy wallowing in my misery."

A shrug. He wallows, but he's not doing that right now.

It had surprised her how hard he had fought to prove to her he changed -- she didn't realize her opinion matters that much to him. Nor is she sure of why it means so much to him. Or why it means so much to her that he had tried to prove it to her at all. (Or why it had been so important to stay angry at him -- what exactly had she been trying to keep at bay?)

It is a tight squeeze -- but she tries not to pay that much attention, instead laughing a little at his words, knowing there's some truth to them.

"It probably wouldn't occur to them that we might be together somewhere."

OPEN SHIP WITH ME POST

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject