gorysortofstory | Open Mistletoe Shenanigans

[It probably is a terrible idea -- but it's better than blood bending.

Or she's pretty sure it is, anyway.

It surprises her though, when he relaxes into the kiss. She knows she should probably pull away -- it doesn't need to be anything prolonged, right? And yet she finds herself slowly doing the same, easing up into the kiss just a little.]

[ much better than bloodbending, and feeding directly into thoughts he's hated himself for having. but almost as if he's suddenly operating on autopilot, zuko's hands land on her hips to help ease her up and keep her in place as she moves closer, one hand snaking around across the small of her back. ]

[They definitely don't need to still be kissing. She's pretty sure if they pulled away now they could move -- but neither one of them seem ready to do that. Finally her own need to breathe gets the best of her though and she breaks the kiss, breathing a little heavily as she tries to find the words to say...

She's not exactly sure what to say, now.]

[ this is it. the jig is up, he's sure of it. kissing her back and holding her close is giving him away, although he's sure he's given himself away a hundred times before. sitting outside of her tent all night, waiting patiently for her to emerge... he's obvious, and everyone but sokka seems oblivious to how obvious he is, but katara's brother doesn't seem to mind much that he's tripping over himself while trying to stay in his sister's good graces.

those good graces are probably going to go out the window now that they've broken apart. his hand rest on her hips, zuko unsure of if he should step away or not. ]

Sorry.

[ for what, still touching her? kissing her back? kissing her longer than was necessary? ]

It's not your fault. I kissed you first.

[Which while at first it had been a means to an end it quickly became something else. It's not that the thought's never crossed her mind before. It certainly had Ba Sing Se but once he went back to his father she had tried to push the idea out of her head. And while she's forgiven Zuko for everything now she's still tried to distance herself from that line of thinking.

It just wasn't a good idea.

But then they were kissing and it was like all that logic went out the window and now -- she's not sure what now. If Aang knew he would be heartbroken. It's obvious how he feels about her -- and she likes to think she's made it clear she doesn't feel the same way.

She takes a step back now, not necessarily in anger so much as an attempt to try to make sense of what she was feeling right now.]

You did.

[ and he's unable to contain how exhilerated he sounds while acknowledging that, letting it sink in. katara kissed him, and he kissed her back. ]

Why didn't you want to bend me using the power you have over blood?

[At least explaining this gives her a moment to put aside her confused feelings. She takes a deep breath.]

Because it's not a power I should have. Most waterbenders can't do it, wouldn't think of trying it. We met this old woman, Hama, who had learned it as a way to escape from the prison the Fire Nation had put her in. She told me I had no choice but to learn -- that it was our duty to exact revenge on those who had eradicated our kind. She was kidnapping innocent villagers, hurting them, killing them.

I didn't want to learn how to do it. But she didn't leave me a choice. She was using Sokka and Aang like puppets and the only way I could stop her was by bending her blood. But a person shouldn't have that control over somebody else.

It's not right.

[ his good eye goes wide. he hadn't known. ]

I'm sorry. I thought— I thought that was something all waterbenders could do.

I forget sometimes that you saw me do it -- I had been so angry at the time I didn't even think about it. I could do it to them so I did.

[But that doesn't make it okay.]

Edited (i finally broke down and bought her more icons) 2015-01-15 08:28 (UTC)

You were hurting. You lashed out. I'm the last person to judge someone for doing that.

[ he doesn't elaborate. it's probably pretty obvious that he spent the better part of the past four years lashing out at the world around him. he doubts she knows why, beyond having been banished. the truth about where he got his scar wasn't a secret, but it wasn't exactly a truth that was spoken of often. it was likely she didn't know, and he didn't want her to.

zuko didn't want her to pity him. he's called ozai out on burning him and he's (mostly) at peace with it now.

and this isn't about him. ]

If anyone else had seen me do that I wouldn't of heard the end of it.

[Especially from Aang -- because if they didn't adhere to his morals at all times they would hear it. Especially her. Sometimes she wonders if Aang even really likes her or some idea he has of who she is.

One thing she likes about Zuko, not that she would ever say it out loud, is that she feels like she can simply be herself. She doesn't have to try to be the glue that keeps everyone together. She can be angry or hurt or petty or any other feelings she had.

She doesn't know how he got his scar and she figures it isn't her business to pry. If he wanted to tell her, he would. She's not going to force him to talk. That isn't right.]

[ he appreciates that about her, too — she allows this to remain unspoken when he doesn't want to talk about them, and respects his right to privacy. aang pries, whether he realizes he is or not. he pried about the dragons, he pried about why he did things as the blue spirit instead of owning his actions with a face that wasn't obscured by a mask. and he shied away from more violent confrontations, even though he was in the midst of a war.

there were times when zuko wondered if aang would really be the one to bring ozai down, or if one of them would have to step up to the plate and do it because the airbender refused to. ]

I'm not them. I get it. [ he steps back up to her, daring to touch her again by reaching for her hand. ] You're only human. You've lost a lot and had to give up a lot more in order to help Aang.

[She worries about that sometimes too -- if Aang will be able to do what needs to be done. She didn't spare Yon Rha because it was the right thing to do, to not kill someone, she spared him because he was so pathetic and such a shell of a being it wasn't worth the effort. But if she had thought for a moment he was still capable of doing what he had done to her mother?

She would have gone through with it.

She's not sure Aang is capable of making that sort of tough decision, when it comes down to it.

Impulsively she finds herself squeezing his hand when he takes it]

We've all given up a lot to be here. We have to if we want to fix things.

You guys are young. [ he says it suddenly, but the way he says it indicates that he's been aware of it for quite some time now. the reality of that statement has been bearing down on him. ] Really young. Just kids. I mean, I'm a kind of a kid, too, but I've seen things. I've done things. I've heard things that...

[ he shakes his head, squeezes her hand back. ]

I was thirteen when I sat in on my first war meeting. I was too young, but there's no going back from that. There's no going back for you guys, either.

We can't really be kids anymore, and that's kind of sad.

I haven't been a kid since the day my mom died.

[It's said simply, because that's the way it's always felt. Even though Sokka was her older brother she was the one who ended up taking care of things. Taking care of him.

It's not the same as being forced to sit in a war meeting as a kid, the things he was forced to do, she knows that, but it's damaging in it's own way.

War leaves no room for children, that is the ugly truth of it all. She wonders sometimes how Aang can seem so young despite being technically older than all of them. How has this not touched him like it has the rest of them.

She smiles weakly at Zuko's words, nodding.]

It is sad. But if we succeed -- we can make it so other kids get the chance we didn't have.

I didn't know the rules.

[ it tumbles out of his mouth before he can stop it in spite of his desire for her not to know. his gaze lands on the ground, his hand going tense in her grip. ]

I was younger than an heir would be when the rules were explained to them when I went to that meeting. I didn't know, so I spoke up and said something that went against what the senior Minister of War was proposing.

[The tenseness unnerves her a little -- she's uncertain exactly where this story is going but she imagines it can't be anywhere good.]

They can't have liked that.

No, they didn't. Neither did my father.

Challenging the War Ministers meant challenging my father, and speaking out against him wasn't tolerated. Not even from his own son.

[She's quiet for a moment before she finally asks:]

What did he do?

[He doesn't have to tell her, but if he wants to, she'll listen.]

He thought I needed a lesson in respect, so he challenged me to an Agni Kai. I refused to to fight, which is apparently more deplorable than losing.

[ zuko lets her hand go and jerks away from her, repressed anger and turmoil bubbling to the surface much like it had in the catacombs beneath the palace when he confronted his father. ]

I was thirteen! What sort of father tells their son to fight him, just because he spoke out of turn? What sort of father puts a fistful of flames in his face for refusing to do so? Who does that!?

[Katara doesn't know what an Agni Kai is -- but she imagines it can't be good -- especially when involving a child.

He steps away from her but she doesn't stay away, instead she steps closer now. She reaches out now to place her hand on his cheek, fingers brushing against his scar. It's not her first time touching it -- but it's been a long time since Ba Sing Se.]

Not a good father. Not anyone who deserves to be a father.

[No one deserves to have their parent treat them like that. It's hard not to feel for him in that moment.]

[ zuko hadn't wanted her to know, but now the truth is out. he wasn't born with this scar, his father gave it to him for talking out of turn and refusing to fight of all things. he didn't want her — any of them — to feel sorry for him, but as much as he tried to see his scar as a mark of honor for standing up to the most feared man in the world, there was still a lot of baggage and bad feelings attached to the way in which he received it.

he closes his eyes, leaning into her touch, much like he had done in ba sing se. there wasn't a lot of feeling left in that side of his face, and while he couldn't feel her fingers against the glossy, charred flesh, he could feel the pressure of her touch.

reaching up, he covers her hand with his own — not removing it, just letting his palm rest against the back of her hand. ]

My uncle was more a father to me than Ozai ever was.

[There's a difference between empathy and pity. It hurts to hear what he's gone through at the hands of his own father of all people but he doesn't feel sorry for him.

He's struggled with it, but he did eventually walk away from his father. He's trying to be better than that, better than the man who did that to him. He got this by standing up for what was right. She would never pity that. If anything, she's a little proud of him.

His hand reaches up to cover hers and in some ways it feels almost more intimate then kissing him did.<]

He seems like a good man, your uncle. [She hasn't interacted much with Iroh herself but Toph seems to like him -- Toph doesn't give her approval to just anyone.]

He is. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to see that.

[ he frowns, leaning further into her touch. ]

I was banished after that. Banished because I was a disgrace, an honorless coward who spoke against the will of the Fire Nation and refused to fight in a formal bending duel. The only way I would be allowed to come back home would be to capture the Avatar — something that was, [ he laughs, bitterly ] original a fool's quest. It had been a hundred years, yet I looked for the better part of the last three and half. It was futile, but all I wanted was to please him and to go home, so I looked.

That's why I was so intent on capturing Aang. I just wanted to go home, and to make my father proud of me.

It took me a long time to realize that he was the one in the wrong, not me. I did nothing wrong. ...not that chasing you guys everywhere was right, but you get what I mean.

You're not a coward. You're brave. It takes guts to speak up when you think something is wrong, especially when you're that young. If your father can't see that, that's his problem.

[Her thumb brushes idly against his skin, lingering there]

No chasing us around was not right. [She's not going to pretend it was.]

But when you spoke up at that meeting, when you refused to fight, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm glad you can see that. You're so much better than he is.

[There was a time where she would of refused to believe it. After he betrayed them after Ba Sing Se she was convinced there was nothing redeeming about him. Because she was hurt and it was easier to be angry then give him the chance to hurt or disappoint her again. But she's worked through that now.]

Sure, you've made mistakes, but you're trying to make up for them. That's the difference.

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